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So You’re Flat — Now What? Learning to Dress and Live on Your Own Terms
Editor’s Note:
This is the second installment in our guest blog series by artist and author Tina Martel, creator of Not in the Pink. In this ongoing series, Tina shares honest, often humorous reflections on living, healing, and finding personal style after breast cancer.
This is the second installment in our guest blog series by artist and author Tina Martel, creator of Not in the Pink. In this ongoing series, Tina shares honest, often humorous reflections on living, healing, and finding personal style after breast cancer.
"If I had any advice at all for anyone going through this: be patient. Leave space for the acceptance of your new shape. It will come in its own time."
Redefining the Silhouette
So you are flat! Now what? You have had to make a tough decision about what to do in the face of a breast cancer diagnosis or maybe even a genetic test warning you that your odds of facing this diagnosis are very high. All around you people are celebrating your opportunity to be gifted with new breasts. Let’s leave that one until another time and deal with the brand new body shape first.
Letting Go of the Illusion
I could wear prosthetics. But, If you have ever had one pop out in the middle of a downward dog and skitter across the room reminiscent of a scene from Alien, you know exactly what I mean when I say: not for me. Instead like many women, I have simply chosen to present as flat, in spite of the fashion challenges that you have to manoeuvre your way through.
A Reckoning in the Closet
After my double mastectomy in 2019 there I was standing in front of my closet. Steely eyed, chin-up, firm jawed and determined to tackle my closet head on. I had searched the internet for ideas of what might work, but, I knew looking at my assembled clothing that I was hooped. I owned nothing that was patterned, nothing that had ruffles, nothing with a modest high neck. I did have some long sleeves as I do live in a cold climate. And I did own some scarves. But, nothing else that was recommended. My primary thought was that I simply could not spend the rest of my life looking like an extra from Little House on the Prairie.
I waded in with the conviction of a Crusader. Clothes everywhere. Total chaos. I made three piles. One was yes. One was no. One was maybe. I was diligent. I tried on every single piece. The piles morphed and actually branched into sub piles. Maybe: the way it is. Maybe: but needs to be tailored. And let’s not forget the emotional support pieces of which I had many. At the end of an exhausting afternoon I was left with a dozen pieces. Now what? I did the only sensible thing and sat down and cried. Then I shoved them all back into the closet.
“My breasts — or lack thereof — do not define me as a woman. I am free to present in any way I feel.”
Seeing Myself Anew
A month later. Here I stand again. I had time to live with my newly flattened body and was feeling more grounded. I did it again. This time it was with more surety. In my head I had to sort out what was important to me. And I now I knew what was. I was on my way to recovery and health. The problem with all of the former advice was it was based on camouflaging. But, what if it doesn’t matter to you? Or if somedays it does matter? It was a revelation. My body. My terms.
The Architecture of Fit
The second time went much better. The piles shifted. Keep. Donate. Tailor the ones valuable enough to make them worth while. And a very small emotional support pile that might have consisted of an old Police t-shirt and oddly, a tea towel. What worked: almost everything except if it had darts and was fitted for a figure with breasts. It was shocking to me how much I had that still fit. I only needed a little distance to see it.
What do I wear now?
Pretty much whatever I want. I am a woman who has had a mastectomy to survive. I did nothing wrong or shameful. I will not hide. My breasts or lack thereof do not define me as a woman. I am free to present in anyway I feel. If I had any advice at all for anyone going through this: be patient. Leave space for the acceptance of your new shape. It will come in its own time.
Stay tuned — in her next post,Tina will share a list of clothing styles that have worked for her and leave plenty of room for you to express your own identity.
Learn more at notinthepink.ca or Instagram.
